Continuing from the Hot Babes piece I wrote recently, and reminding the reader that, yes, I may have some neuro-diversity issues. As previously mentioned, I have a brain that is apparently 'on the spectrum.' So I don't think in the same way as Joe or Joanna Bloggs. I also quite like getting bogged down in data, especially if it's about humans. Some of the most bizarre and diverse creatures on this fair planet, and maybe others, who knows! Do aliens crossdress? wear gimp suits? enjoy putting their probes through holes in toilet stalls?! I thought I'd write about what I spend probably most of my time on the TVChix site doing. Sifting data. Yeah, that! Unfortunately, it's more interesting than most of the chats in the chat rooms and messages saying 'Hi.'

So TV Chix has 156,200 profiles on it (as of 1st Nov 2023), or thereabouts. People join and leave all the time. Even so, 156,200 profiles is a LOT! Imagine the crowds at both the big Manchester teams (United and City, silly!), and that they're all on TVChix. Yes, I know, a horrifying vision, and you would likely run a mile. 156,200 profiles mostly full of data. Obviously, some have nothing, but most have ticked a few boxes and written a bit about themselves. As such, there is a rich seam that can be mined for pleasing or possibly nefarious purposes.

This mainly started when I found several Admirer profiles on the Chix site with the hilarious cliche 'I don't bite unless you want me to.' I thought, blimey, how many people have used that old chestnut. Turns out 432 profiles list that phrase or variations of it. Another cliche I spotted on a lot fewer profiles, is people seeking to attract people to interact with them by asking them a question, any question they like. Usually in this format "One question, one chance, one honest answer. You can ask me one question (TO MY INBOX ONLY!). Any question, anything, no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it is. No catch." 41 people did that. I asked one guy who contacted me with it on his profile how many questions he'd been asked. I was shocked to learn the answer was '0.'

Another item I picked up on on the site, is those that think by putting some sort of legal disclaimer on the site, they will be safe. Same goes for those that think Sydney University is constantly searching and stealing information from them. In both cases, the answer is, uh-uh. No way. As a quick Google will tell you, any legal disclaimer on a public site is worthless, and no, Sydney Uni are not after your data. 580+ profiles carry the pointless warning about institutions, 185 refer to Sydney University allegedly being naughty. 

If you're wondering the most common way to refer to the male genitals, then these are for you,  Cock 11,000 Dick 1,300 Penis 940 Willy 118 wang 16  prick 50 knob 46 schlong 4 phallus 10. Sissy types are also represented, with 443 referencing Clits or Clitties.

When it comes to sexual terms, Sex 17,800 Intercourse 86 fuck 2,700 penetration 204 impregnate 3 rape 72 forced sex 281. Of the 72 that mention rape, most state that they don't want to end up raped. However, some seem to welcome it "hot racy saucy wild rape is what I love." Eughh. When it comes to language, most profiles keep it clean, only 89 list Cu*t and 3 Motherfucker.

Popular culture isn't a big hit on the site, I'm a Celebrity can only count on 33 viewers, Gogglebox 3. Harry Potter pops up on 59 profiles, and Star Wars 151. TvChix isn't political, Tories 27 profiles (not sure they're all positive references!), Labour 5 and for a pretty liberal site, Liberal Democrats 0. Car ownership doesn't feature too much either, Porsche is on 10 profiles, and 4 people claim to have a Ferrari, the same as those who own a Ford Capri, also 4. Xbox owners out-do Playstation fans, 221 to 105. 10 still play on the PS2!

For a site that involves quite a lot of subterfuge and fake profiles, finding too much out about people isn't easy. Hence why it's possible to know that 13,700 people list themselves as Married (39,500 have ticked the box as 'Attached', and 14,600 as Attached in open relationships), 11,000 as single (but 79,500 have actually ticked Single). On a site that must involve a lot of cheating on partners, only 1,500 listed divorce. On the other hand, though, 67 profiles referenced Zombies!?!

The website has more accurate results when playing with the data in the pre-selected fields. Like particular fetish likes. 59,700 like wearing boots, 28,200 rubber, 11,400 Furs whereas only 4,000 like Indian and ethnic garments. 85,600 admit to watching porn, obviously not myself, ahem! Lego, Subbuteo and Scalextric are clearly popular, 82,400 like toys.

For those into BDSM, 3,000 declare themselves a Top, 4,300 a Bottom and 4,800 are up for anything or Versatile. 6,700 on the site can offer a maid's service, of which 4,400 offer a live-in maid service. Imagine never having to do the vacuuming or washing up again!

31,600 smoke on the site, 58,300 don't smoke. This means 66,300 are unsure if they smoke or not! 12.9% of adults smoke in the UK, compared to TVChix (which is a global site, but heavily based in the UK), 20.2%. So a slightly higher proportion of smokers on the site than on the streets. If you need a tradesman, there are 1500 plumbers, 2300 qualified electricians (don't ask about unqualified) but only 43 carpenters and 1 Gas Man.

For Tgirls, the breakdown is thus, Transgendered 1,200 transvestite 3,000 crossdresser 12,600. Clearly we crossdresser's rule! 64,600 enjoy wearing wigs, 13,300 of which identify as a male admirers, so that's a lot of toupees! Also, for a site based around those pretending or converting to a woman, 130 are listed as cis female admirers, 87 cis female partners and 120 as cis female friends. I think this also confirms that very very few women are genuinely interested in men that crossdress etc. 337 Cis women equates to 0.2% of the site's profiles.

Considering the number of profiles listing the Fabswingers site, only 122 profiles mention Swinging.

Well, that was a selection of facts I've picked up over the years. Nothing too radical, and I would imagine the ratio of those that started this article and reached this bit, will be the lowest stat on this page! Apologies to those I've bored. For those that the above raised some curiosity and interest, you'd probably enjoy the book Freakonomics by Levitt and Dubner.

Anything else you found interesting on the site? Drop it in the comments!