I had toiled with my crossdressing habits for many a moon. Apart from one girlfriend, I kept it all to myself. Dressing in private and hiding my clothes and footwear away. Then I got married, and felt I should tell her about my hobby of sorts. When redundancy hit, I found myself at home while she was at work. I took some of my redundancy and bought a couple of outfits. I found that I'd neglected my crossdressing, and I wanted to make up for lost time. I also looked for support online, to help deal with the insecurities and emotions I felt doing something that isn't 'normal' in society. I found a couple of websites. 

The first one I came across was Crossdressers.com. I found it to be very quiet and a bit too right on for me. 

Then came Crossdresser Heaven, but again, too quiet, although lots of useful information.

And finally there was a website called TVChix. It was bursting with energy, and had lots of constant activity, including a Chat Room. 

So I joined TV Chix. I mainly read the forum posts for a while, and found myself drifting onto the profiles of the crossdressers/TVs, what have you. Some of the TGirls were amazing, and totally convincing. Others had tried their best. Then there were the Tgirls in the advanced years of life. And finally there were the HPWs (Hairy Pant Wearers), these men just liked pulling on tights and stockings, with no interest in looking Female, or with shaving.

It wasn't until I had my first makeover and attempt to look femme from my wife, that I had a picture to put on my profile. I had tried wearing a wig many many moons ago at a shop in Euston for TVs, called Transform I think. Sadly gone now. I couldn't deal with what I saw in the mirror, and felt ashamed and stupid. After coming out to my wife about crossdressing, and she had sort of accepted it. We discussed my getting a wig, and did so. Then my wife offered to make me up. I took a photo of the results, and that was my first profile pic. The makeup wasn't the best, as bless my suffering wife, she wasn't used to doing other people's makeup and certainly not on a man!

It wasn't long before I graduated into the chat room. Lots of people ready and willing to chat. There is a main room bit, where everyone can write and see what's written. And then you can use Private Messages, which open smaller chat windows. Most of the chat in the main room involved rather desperate people asking for 'Cam chats' (talking and interacting over webcams or video calls), where they can likely look at each other masturbating or something. It's never appealed to me, I prefer the real and now. Others expressed a desire to be 'done now' and 'spray me with your cum' etc. It was all a bit gross. Due to my dark sense of humour, i would often make fun of such requests and offer my own ludicrous variations. 'Looking for men into BJs and other members of the Johnson family' and so forth. Well, it made me chuckle.

I didn't get much interest from anyone in the chat rooms. My profile pic wasn't that great, and I wasn't interested in being a piece of meat for someone's quick thrills. Realising I had a long way to catch up some of the Tgirls on the site, I went to see the Makeup Mistress, aka Jodie at The Boudoir for a Makeup lesson. I now had a much better picture to put online, and also quietly thought I was gorgeous. Jodie did too, pointing out I actually had good feminine features, particularly the cheekbones. So I uploaded a pic, and was now suddenly, but not un-surprisingly, getting interest. I got chatting to a lovely pretty Tgirl from Norwich, Cassandra. And found a kindred spirit with a similar sort of humour. We talked about girly stuff like makeup etc, but also the various good/bad points of the site, and just general crap. I started to feel good about myself. I also made contact with other Tgirls, living closer to home. 

Around this time, I started to get interest from Admirers, men who want the attentions and physical interaction of a Tgirl. Initially I was appalled by the idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it made sense, and I added it to my journey. I started to talking to some Admirers, but found most conversations start with 'Hi'. So I would deliberatly reply, 'Hi.' And usually that's as far as the conversation went! Sometimes a few more lines, but rarely. Then there were the sex fiends. 'Hi, what are you wearing?' 'Hi, do you want my stiff rod?' etc. I quickly despatched them or turned the conversation on its head or down the surreal path. 'Is your cum cinnamon flavoured?' 'Have you considered using food dyes so it could be orange. That's my favourite colour.' It wasn't long before the sex pests got the message and left me alone. 

Some of the Admirers were deeply gross. One particular guy who has his own wikipedia page, who also (possibly coincidentally) had the worrying initials of S.S. from his nickname, sent messages as nice as pie. 

"Morning how lovely to wake to your message, I was intrigued by your profile as its well written and you come across as educated unlike the 'text speak' people use on here...
it would be lovely to find that elusive spark, are you the feminine arts lover I seek…
Maybe we could meet at a club sometime ?"

Only to follow it up a few messages later, with...

"I'm just back from a NY, the flight was delayed and exhausting, the jet lag is setting in
I really do need a loving slut whore to face fuck, we need a plan..."

Gross! I have to say, it worries me that some people will sink to enjoying that, but, hey, each to their own.

Then I started to get talking to Admirers that seemed more intelligent and respectable, or as respectable as one can be. I got talking to a guy in Finland who spoke very nicely to me, and made Ophelia feel comfortable and said all the right things. We drifted onto chatting on Skype about how we'd meet etc. And one day he just stopped writing and wasn't on Chix for a while. I received chats from others, and similar things happened. I knew some were married, if not all of them likely. However I would chat to them, and it would all go along nicely. Then we'd start to talk about a meet. However when it came to making an actual date, it would go silent. Pretty much every time! So I became despondent and stopped chatting to Admirers. 

Here's some tips I found from sapphire_xx

Timewasters always follow the same predictable easy to spot pattern
-No pictures/no face picture
-They immediately ask for your whatsapp/kik
-They keep hassling you for more photos/pester you about what you're wearing
-They're always too busy to meet
In general the less photos they have and the more they chat the less likely they are to meet.

Some of this was my fault, because I wasn't confident with my makeup, and sorting out the meet wasn't easy. So I went for a second makeup lesson, and did it myself with Jodie's supervision. I procrastinated for a bit with the makeup. However I happened to chat to an Admirer who said they'd happily meet up in 'drab' also known as in male form. ie, not dressed in female clothes. Although I couldn't help wear women's trousers to the meet. We met in a pub, and shared two pints. We talked about the site, dressing and so forth. However there wasn't any spark. Partly my fault, as I wasn't dressed as Ophelia, so wasn't feeling super femme.

I also met a couple of Tgirls in drab (both of us). One was nice and friendly, and looked great as a Tgirl. However, they said they liked to take a 'large' amount of drugs when going out. So that was awkward, as I stopped doing drugs after University and a dodgy experience with Ecstacy at the Reading Festival. I later met another Tgirl in drab, who was also fairly local, and she was much more relaxed and cool. However they didn't do their own makeup, relying on professional makeovers. 

I've found myself using the site less and less these days, as so many fantasists populate the site, Tgirls and Admirers. Most just seem to be really really bored, mostly white working from home.