As those who have read Ophelia's journey so far, you'll know that the venues I've visited so far have been underwhelming. I kinda knew from the outset that Big Night Out (BNO) would be a place more suited to Ophelia. However, it's way way out of London, so takes a bit more on the logistics front.

I finally found a gap in the diary and looked into accommodation. The Campanile Hotel sits across the road from the Big Night Out venue, Pink Punters, an LGTBQ+ nightclub in Bletchley. As such, it's a sound choice when visiting Pink Punters. However, I've read so many reviews that the staff aren't great, rooms are of questionable standard and that 'noises' go on late into the night. So I decided on opening my purse, to avoid drinking and stay at a Trannylodge (Travelodge) nearer the centre of Milton Keynes and drive to the venue.

The original plan was to get to the Travelodge at check-in (3 p.m.) and rest for a bit, maybe pop into Milton Keynes as Ophelia and check out the shops. Sadly my life isn't that easy, and I arrived around 6 pm. Aghhh! I quickly unpacked a ridiculous amount of stuff, wig, heels, LED travel makeup mirror, boobs, makeup bag, dress, lingerie, accessories, crazy amounts of stuff. Then I did the bit I hate most about the transition to Ophelia, the shave! I had shaved before I left with an electric shaver, and now I needed to do the close shave. It always ends up with some blood and leaves my skin scratched and painful. However, the results are usually awesome, and of course, necessary. I do try hard with Ophelia to look her best.

It was then a skip to a nearby Chinese restaurant to get a takeout. The Chinese restaurant turned out to be about four restaurants/take-a-way places in one. So I had an annoying 10min wait past when I ordered for, as Deliveroo riders came and went. Food in a bag, I rushed back to the hotel and wolfed it down, very un-ladylike. A deep intake of breath, and it was time to get ready. I always fear doing the makeup, as there's a fear it might go badly wrong, and as it's so time-consuming, you don't have much time to correct it. One good thing was I found my missing eyelash, stuck to my makeup wipes packet!

Fast forward an hour or so, and the makeup was done. I wasn't happy with the eye shadow, I still don't know how to do it properly, so it's mostly a bodge. NOW, I could get into the fun bit. I popped on my dress, careful not to smudge the makeup as I pulled my head through. Then some new hoop earrings I'd recently bought. A bangle, my bling gold watch, boobs and lingerie. I looked in the mirror, I was ok! Heels thrown in a bag, and longish leather coat. And I rushed out of the room. It was already 9.30 pm and Aunty Google told me it was a precise 8mins to the venue. Milton Keynes is certainly odd, so many roundabouts and you have no idea where you are as you blindly follow the sat nav. It was a highlight to suddenly pass the Marshall factory. Yes, I play guitar!

As I came down Watling Street, you couldn't miss the neon fest that was Pink Punters. It was like arriving at a fun fair or something, which it sort of was. I parked up in the car park, and after untangling myself, my handbag and seat belt, I finally tumbled out of the car. Oooh, it was chilly! Should have worn my satin slip as well.

I headed across the road. The Campanile, or 'Camp' to regulars, is where the evening starts for most. As I arrived at the front of the hotel, surprised at how big it was based on what I'd heard. Talking of hearing, it was hard to avoid where the bar was arriving at the hotel, as it was loud. Karaoke was in progress, clearly. I waded through Tgirls smoking outside and loitering in reception. Heaven knows what 'normal' people staying at the hotel thought! I opened the large white door that led into the bar and was met by a sea of Tgirls. Lots all stood around the bar, others all grouped around tables. At the back was a Tgirl doing Karaoke with a guy sort of dancing around her as she loved that mic!

I quickly ordered a 0% bottle of beer and started to look for an inroad. I saw Gemma who I'd chatted to a few times on the TVChix website, and sat beside her. She'd told me she'd be in a leopard print top and leather trews, so easy spot.

Gemma was very nice, and introduced me to her friend, Fallon, also from Worcestershire. Fallon turned out to be hilarious and good company. The Karaoke had gone into hiatus, and I noticed that the bar was slowly emptying. Like a migration of gazelle on spotting a pride of lions on the horizon, the Tgirls slowly left their drinks and headed for the door. I still had half a bottle left to drink, and now Gemma had gone missing. Those Lions were getting closer, eek!

Gemma located, she'd nipped to her room, and we all headed with a couple of other girls to cross the road. Fallon announced, 'Short or long way?' We went short, which involved crossing a rolling short grass lawn to the roadside. Not so easy for the girls in higher heels, like the 5" black patent pumps Gemma was sporting. It was my turn to nip off when we'd crossed the road. I changed into my cream/beige 2" heels, and dumped my leather coat. I couldn't be bothered with cloakrooms. It was a bit chilly, but I click-clacked across the parking lot to the neon wonderland before me.

Lots of different lanes provided the clubs with different needs and policies. As I was the only person in the lanes, I did wonder when the 'Fast Lane' would get used. I was met by a wall of tall linear machines and a burly security guard in a regulation black bomber jacket next to them. I wanted to know what he thought of the club’s patrons, but he was monosyllabic and merely grunted 'ID'. Eek, ID?! I didn't have any. Then I remembered I had a pic of my passport on my phone, and showed him that. It seemed to suffice. I don't know why I don't just leave the passport on the open web, everyone seems to have the details from it these days.

Security didn't deem me a risk if only they knew (cue evil laugh and hand rolling). There wasn't anything to pay, as it was before 11 pm. I walked into an area with a gently sloping room and a very long bar.

One of the many things I noticed were 'Help' buttons everywhere, I wasn't sure whether I should be concerned or reassured they were there.

Behind me were bench-like booths near a food outlet, not looking too busy. Neon was either blaring or flashing everywhere.

I found some stairs and climbed up. I ended up on the next floor, which had no roof. Also, a fireplace in the middle of the area, and a few stood around warming themselves. Wearing a synthetic material dress, I kept moving.

I ascended to the next floor, and a glass door led into the cocktail lounge. Lots of booths and girls in a range of outfits sat around them.

The feminine pink area entrance at the back.

A bar with perpetual bubbles and changing lights was there, and cocktail menus sat on the counter.

I asked for a very boring non-alcoholic beer. And sadly they didn't have one. So I went for an alcoholic one! Somehow a bottle of 'Desperado' seemed appropriate! I sat down at the first table in the bar with Gemma and Fallon, it faced the door, so was very open and social. We chatted about this and that, including the massive Worcester Tgirl seen that ended up being one Tgirl! I sat the whole time with a huge smile on my face and a jaw-ache from laughing. Then either I went off, or Gemma went off or Fallon went off as the night progressed. Returning to catch up. I went off to explore the T-girl area, basically, a backroom that had been opened up and painted pink. A long counter sat with mirrors with lights around them. A bench sat on one side, and two silver chairs side by side. At the back was a wide alcove, with two seats facing for those wanting a bit of privacy. In a small alcove was a set of mirrors all facing each other. Some Tgirls spent awhile getting the right pic in there.

From there I went to an open balcony-type area and saw a Karaoke room. I'm not sure what it is about being a Tgirl or LGTBQ+ that makes you perfect for Karaoke, but it does seem popular. As I sing like Tom Waits, I barred myself from partaking. Inside was a hilarious Lilly Savage type girl, with a massive blond afro-type wig, silver dress and pink ankle boots. She had some great mildly bitchy lines and was very inclusive. I was enraptured more by her than by the person singing. It certainly wouldn't be the last time I'd hear Mark Ronson/Amy Winehouse's 'Valerie' that night. (apologies for photo, hard to capture her as she kept moving around).

I wandered back to Fallon and Gemma, and Fallon asked if I'd been to the basement floor? "Oooh, dark and scary down there." Obviously, I now wanted to check out this basement level. Having never been to a Gay nightclub before, I thought it would be full of men and women in leather and peaked caps like extras in a Frankie Goes to Hollywood music promo video. All sorts of things raced through my mind, as I slowly descended the stairs as gracefully as I could in heels.

The ground floor was decorated with more neon, and in front of me was an area called 'The Cellar.' It had smoke emanating from it, and I walked in apprehensively. However, it was just a regular club room with normal people dancing away and a bar. The track playing was a sort of drum n bass groove mix of an Eminem song. I found my feet starting to move to the beats and I was away!

The trouble was, I was mainly here to meet Tgirls, and dancing is something I also love. So after a quarter of an hour, I spotted 'another' dance room next to The Cellar. It had lots of green strobe lights and a darker vibe. The music was also quite hard, and I felt my feet starting to go again, but didn't want to stay, as time was of the essence.

I headed up some stairs and found myself on a bigger dancefloor. There were Tgirls here and the music was more girly and I guess gay. I don't know. Abba, Spice Girls, Pet Shop Boys, Mark Ronson etc. I did find myself dancing here for a bit.

Back upstairs, I loitered around the little Tgirl area, looking for someone with superb photography skills to try to make me look acceptable! A lovely girl called Susie helped me out, and was hilarious. "no no, you need to show some stocking, go this way, do this" etc.

After that chat, I got talking to a tall, thin very stylish Trans Lady who was wearing what I suggested was an inter-war look, replete with crimped hair. Her own. Cassie, as it turned out to be, lived in the midlands and designed cars for a luxury car manufacturer. Cars would be a big part of the night, as Gemma talked a lot about her collection of British Leyland cars sitting in a barn. On leaving the area, I saw the one and only Michelle in a stunning green sequin dress. A mainstay of seemingly every TGirl club on the British Isles, possibly beyond. Her lovely smiley pictures grace most events galleries, so you can't miss her. A Tgirl celebrity?! I inquired if she was indeed 'the' Michelle, and she confirmed it in a very nice and graceful manner. No ego. What's more, she actually knew who I was and where I was from in London. I almost fainted!

Feeling discombobulated!

Infinite Ophelia's, what could be better?!

I returned to Gemma and Fallon's table, where they appeared to be sitting on either side of 3 cis-gendered females. You have to be so careful in a venue like this on gender etc. One of the girls commented she liked my dress, and we got talking. I could see the other two girls having fun with Fallon, and prodding her foam breasts. Fallon lapped up the attention. The girls left and I could see the evening was starting to progress into early morning. I went to the bar for a bottle of water, only to be offered a gratis tap water, which was nice. A whole evening for £10! I said goodnights and thanks to Gemma & Fallon for taking me under their wing of sorts for the evening. Then headed to the main dancefloor. Just 10 more minutes of dancing. OK, maybe 15mins!

"Would you like to dance?"

Good vibes all night.

Eventually, I forced myself out, and down the various stairs and walkways to the exit. Taxi cabs waited for those in need. It was cold, so I quickly got to my car and pulled on my warm leather coat. The drive back was quick on empty roads. I missed not staying longer, but I had a busy Saturday lined up, not least a two-hour cycle around the Chiltern hills at 9a.m., followed by dinner out in Kings Cross that night. Back at the hotel, I dropped my stuff, walked into the bathroom and saw this attractive Tgirl looking back at me in the large bright mirror. I cheekily played with my dress, and flashing my stockings and suspenders in the mirror. I found I was hugely turned on, and well, you can likely guess what happened next!

It was then the pain of 'killing' Ophelia and using piles of makeup wipes to take off the makeup and foundation. Rubbing alcohol wipes against close shaved neck and face, is such a joy! Argghhhhh! I collapsed into bed, too tired to think about the evening, but I certainly had a big smile on my face!

I really enjoyed BNO, it was exactly the kind of event I wanted. Lots of chatting with Tgirls and dancing all girly and fun. It was so different to other Tgirl events I went to previously. Will I be going back? Hell yeah! It was nice to have the relaxing opportunity to dress and head straight out ready to go. All the girls I met there were so friendly and pleasant to talk to. The whole venue was the embodiment of diversity, people of all races, backgrounds, genders, and sexualities just having fun. Lots of Tgirls there were in the same position as me, so immediately there was common ground. There were more Trans women than I'd met before, and I was very wary of saying the wrong thing. It can be a minefield sometimes. However, again, it was all fine for me. Certainly Cassie was lovely, in more ways than one! I sort of wish I'd stayed longer, so I could dance more and still get lots of chatting time in. That'd be my only criticism if you can call it that. Oh, and more 0% beer for us driving girls!

"I'm not going, I'm staying here for-evah!"